So today, November 15th, is my mother's birthday~* I decided to make/draw her a card along with an origami crane XD I'm not very great with gift ideas most of the time, and knowing my mom, she'd probably say "save the money~" T_T So I tend to end up making or drawing something. haha
Doing these things made me think about a lot, mainly about how happy I should be and how lucky I am. I did a little digging in the library/office and found some old photo albums XD I thought that I would share these photos of me (3-7 years old?) and mom with you sooner or later anyway~ So here they are!! XDDD : ME & MOM:
~(^~^)~
There are always flowers in our photos for some reason.. lol~
This was on her birthday when I was 7 =]
A few ROFL-worthy pictures of me X''D:
Don't mess XDD
hehe =]
lolll baby-Jaejoong haircut T~T
wow my own DNW photo XD haha! *dies*~
I wonder what led to this... hahaha T~T
Sulli had better watch out!! 'Cuz I have my own bear too! haha =X (wow this was a month+ before she was born T_T)
ALL of this reminded me so much of:
hehe "mama Jae" XDD <3333
... but I digress,~ SO I hope you had a fun time viewing these photos XD Hope they make you smile somehow (yes/no?) T~T
Updating once again with another new cover =] It's by Yim Jae Beom and it's a wonderful song ^~^ Oh how many times have I stopped because I could not sing more of this song >.< Enjoy:
...Sometimes I feel like this world is not that big after all...
Today, I came across something really amazing. It was a gift, a big gift, from many of my supporters! And I can't even begin to imagine how much effort it takes for just simple individuals from all over the world to go out of their ways and create something so amazing only for ONE person.~ I can't believe you guys would do this for me. From painting, singing, to baking and making crafts - this is SO much effort! I'm very touched by your words and creations.
There are times when I really have been disappointed in myself for not being able to do very much for every one of you. Your reactions are so genuine and the ways that you explain how much the things I do have affected you, your lives, and your dreams, make me feel whole again and it's beyond me how that has come to fruition. From some of your messages, I realized how far I've actually come. I know it's been months and even a year, but I don't think I've realized how MUCH work we've been through and accomplished in that time until now.. Because I always felt like the work I put out hasn't been enough yet it has gotten this far =o
I couldn't stop watching the videos without going "OH MY GOD!" or just gasping at every single thing you guys did and made and said!! There were such great moments and I love the fact that everyone expressed themselves through their own ways and interests ^_^ It was all a great time and I hope you guys really did enjoy working together!! =] I was thinking about how beautiful it is if you guys would follow your dreams as well even if it's from this experience (and others of course) and become painters, singers, bakers, whatever you want to become ^~^
I can't imagine another time in my life when I've felt so accepted and supported by this many people =) It means so much to me to know that I'll always have your support and be by my side ^~^ It means so much to know that you can count on me when it comes to your problems or dreams as well, happy times or sad times. It means so much to be considered a friend, as inspiring as you make it seem, instead of an idol - which makes me hope that we can continue to have this kind of connection for all times, no matter what happens~ T~T I genuinely appreciate your support all this time and for being around for so long and investing your faith in me and the things that I do. I don't think that I can ever understand the true magnitude of influence that my work has on each of you, but it brings me joy that there are those who can find happiness and consolation in the same things that have brought us together under the same sky.
I shall push forward for my dream as you do for yours =] Isn't it beautiful how people can come together? You guys are greater supporters than even an idol could ask for, let alone a person such as myself.~ A person doesn't have to be admiring to be a friend, yet here I am who is, to some, an admiring friend. I am so in debt to your everlasting love and support.
Thank you so much<3
Don't miss the amazing, beautiful videos! : Alan, Fighting! [Part I]
I just wanted to update my page with the latest cover I made ^~^ Feel free to listen and download from http://www.4shared.com/file/135895257/292339b1/Nobody.html
Wonder Girls - Nobody (Rainstone Remix [Kor.]) - Full Male Cover
It's come to my realization that a lot of people who I have known for so long and have come to know for no matter how long have found happiness in their lives.
This was what I wanted for everyone in a really really early post of mine on a Facebook note. I poured my heart out then and wished nothing more but happiness for everyone I knew no matter if they were my friends or not.
It's funny because in the same moment I realized this I also was reminded of some things and some people from the past not the ones I've talked about... at least not in a while.
I know that from many people's views, it seems like I have the world made for me ^_^ I do feel your immense support, and of course so when you are reading these words. I now understand how things can seem extravagant and glamorous at some levels in life. But I have always felt that others have had me wrong so many times. Sometimes I feel as if that separates me from what I could have simply been to them - a friend.
I guess what I'm saying is.. it may seem that I have all I need in the world, but the truth is I still feel empty when I think about it. I KNOW that I could be and should be happy with all these great things happening but there is something missing~ For all I know all this could be temporary... something that would be too short-sighted of me to depend on. I just want something that I know will last for a long long time.
(Sorry for the randomness of this post... It's just things that have crossed my mind recently. After all it has seemed like I've been really happy lately, but in all this happiness, I am still reminded of those things that held me back... I wish one day to let go completely once I find that something to fill my heart. But today I felt different. The lost things that I've always held onto is now let go of. I feel better.. the only thing that remains is the fact that it happened, something that cannot be erased. My heart is lightened of the weight but now it feels unfulfilled.)
Also something just came up in a conversation with someone that reminded me of a certain thing... habit... that I always do when I'm back in my hometown over break. Whenever I'm out at night with friends and am heading home... no matter how late it is; be it 10pm or 2am, I would drive to a certain ... place. No one has really known that I do this.
I would just swing by and... think about things, absorb in what else I've been missing out, think about the past, all while music plays in the car. It's a nice and familiar feeling, even if I'm not supposed to be there.. or I shouldn't be there. The music and the night air just settle in so well with the reminiscent times. It's a sad time to think back to... but I'm happy to be there?~ I don't know. I guess for those moments I can at least pretend or remind myself that some things are still possible. Maybe it's just too personal of an experience to express in the right words or way.. In a way I wish that some others can experience it... but in a way I don't.. because in order to do that, you would already have to have lost something so important to you..
But in that place, I could clearly see myself back in the days when I were truly happy; a short time that I spent with someone that became some of the unforgettable days. I'll always be looking for that again from now on--
I think there's a limit to how much another person can make you happy. I believe that true happiness is when you find it yourself, whatever that you love doing, and work hard at it. I've done too many different things, and still am. Even today I'm still hoping for some of those things to give me an extra kick. I don't want to just depend on that other person for happiness.. I want them to be the constant reminder for me to go out and find happiness. Someday it'll happen~ Someday~
So today I woke up to two mail packages!! One was from allkpop and one was from Apple I was longggg expecting both and were dying to get them XDD
The Apple package was Snow Leopard that I got an up-to-date discount on since I just got my mac not too long ago ^_^
Inside the allkpop package was SUPPOSED to be the autographed BoA album that I was to receive for winning allkpop Idol last month~ They had tweeted a few days ago saying that there is also an "extra little something!" =o!
I had no idea what would be inside besides the BoA album and was seriously just going to be happy enough for that autographed CD XDDD
Turns out that there was an EXTRA CD inside and it turned out to be the SE7EN album !!! Autographed and all!!! T~T I was like ")(@&#%)@(&#%" XDD like I won't go into detail but WOWW Did not expect that ^_^
allkpop seriously laid out their cards here =p Thanks so much, you guys!!
So as many of you guys (at least those on Twitter) know from my tweets on Monday, August 3rd, a lot of things took place.
This is one of those "surprises" I had in store for you guys ^~^. Here is my explanation and recollection of all the events that took place that I can remember:
If you all know Julia (the photographer/facebook page creator), she had worked for allkpop a little bit around the time when I won allkpop Idol. Her friend, Jenny (lawlietta@allkpop), had also been working with allkpop and has gotten some contacts. Jenny is also working with the Wondergirls' FAN*TASTICS, which is a promotional team for the girls in the US while they are on tour with the Jonas Brothers (since June '09). To my understanding, she gets more access to the girls themselves than a lot of the FAN*TASTICS.
Jenny was to do a short interview with the girls for allkpop and take some photos of them backstage. It was her very first time so she contacted me to ask if I wanted to come along, also to meet the girls and all as a sort of "bonus prize" for allkpop Idol (lol~). Well apparently it was approved by "the powers above" of allkpop and everything worked out ^_^ I was to be a FAN*TASTICS photographer to help out with taking some photos with her as well to get through access. >>> So basically, I was getting access through FAN*TASTICS & allkpop.
I arrived at Jenny's friend's house to meet up with her in the morning (around 11am). She made the both of us matching Wondergirls tshirts, hahah ^_^ Then we met Cat (Catherine) from allkpop, who is a PR major and was basically our leader/representative for the day, later when she arrived. She drove me and Jenny to pick up a video camera for the interview in Santa Clara then off to San Jose, where the concert was ^~^. We checked into our hotel, the Clarion hotel, room 296 (I remembered ^_^), and went onto the concert stadium.
When we got to the HP Pavilion, the concert site, the outside was FILLED with Jonas Brothers fans. I easily spotted the Wondergirls fans though ;p. We went through the back loading dock and met Hanna, whom I believe is the director for the FAN*TASTICS; she works closely with the Wondergirls. She gave us press passes and led us backstage and to the halls where the girls' changing rooms were (I did not know where we were going at the time. Rofl~)
When we got to the small hall that leads into the changing room (still clueless about where we were going), Hana was leading, then it was Cat, Jenny, then me, close to the entrance. We stopped and there were three rooms to the right next to each other, but I could only see inside the one directly to my right, the other two were farther inside.
Jenny suddenly turned around in SHOCK and squealed to me, "It's SOHEE!!! It's SOHEE!!" while gesturing toward the 2nd room. I couldn't see because I was so far out and it was a small and packed hall so I can't just run in. haha~
We were both in shock because we didn't think that they would come out SO early. We had thought that it was just time for us to settle down and set up our things and then they would come out much later. We were then asked to back out of the hall a tiny bit because people were moving about. I saw SOHEE run out of the 2nd room and into the 3rd room (farthest one) while I was moving out. I think my mind exploded.... T~T no need to explain this.
While we were backed out of the hall, I was still in the back, still in shock, when someone brushed by me on the left side going into the hall. I turned around to face SUNMI all of a sudden! She was about a foot away and gave me a surprised expression XD (yeahh I died a little bit inside *~*). She said "excuse me ^_^" and brushed by. I pulled Jenny back to let her know, but it was too late and SUNMI had already brushed past her left side and said "excuse me" again. She died too. hahaha XD
After a while we were allowed to move back into the small hall. That's when YE-EUN came out of the Dressing Room, which was the 3rd room (farthest) from the hall entrance. She acted a bit surprised. Hana told her that we were from allkpop and she greeted us so kindly. I have to say, the moment YE-EUN came out, I seriously think I blacked out for a second. She is SO MUCH different from her photo/stage-self in person =o! All of them are much different but YE-EUN and SUNMI were the most surprisingly different ^_^
Anyway, YE-EUN chatted with us (during which Jenny and I were simply thinking, "wow...is this really happening??!"). She was SO NICE... like beyond words... and her ENGLISH was AMAZING!! I would say YE-EUN's english speaking/accent is the best! She doesn't sound Korean more than half of the time =o... Very very impressive~
While we were chatting about our ethnicity and languages, YOOBIN brushed by my right side and joined up with YE-EUN on that side of the hall. WOW... YOOBIN is SOO different in person (appearance wise). Photos and videos do NOT do these girls justice... They are beyond 100 times more beautiful outside... Apparently it's not impossible for someone to be that beautiful but wow ... 5 of them! o.O
We continued talking about their tour and had some minor questions for them (which included YE-EUN's love for desserts. haha ^_^). SUNMI kept on coming out of the Dressing Room and peaking now and then XD She made funny/cute faces at us, too! And she was playing with Hana; they seemed to be really close =]. But wow she just kills me over and over XD But she finally joined the conversation. Turns out she's a really big fan of DBSK as well~ and her eyes got really bright when Cat told her I was a big fan of them as well ^_^
She (SUNMI) asked us if we had a favorite female group. I don't think I have favorite female GROUPS? Possibly because there are so many different groups and they each have different strengths and themes and whatnot. I believe I have favorite MEMBERS in groups but don't really have time to follow closely to more than just DBSK on music. haha XD But I definitely have much respect for the Wondergirls with all their outcomes over such a short period of time and how much they've taken on for themselves to get where they are now =] (but that's sort of beside the point).
During that conversation with the 3 girls (SUNMI, YE-EUN, YOOBIN (in that order from left to right)), SUNYE popped out of the Dressing Room door... That's when Jenny and I went BONKERS! She's been one of the most appealing female performers to each of us so YA WE WERE CRAZY T_T I don't think I even felt it as much when Jenny grabbed and squeezed my arm. hahahah. I just said "ow..." to get her off! ROFL.
As I've said, the girls are VERY much different in person than in their photos =o They are SO much prettier and it was so surreal T_T. And they are very small in person =o Not that they were short, but more like petite? They were just really thin and all~ or as Jenny described it--like DOLLS >.<
After a while the girls went back into the room to warm up for their upcoming events. That's when JYP himSELF came by! He warmly welcomed us and we shook hands ^_^ He wasn't as tall as I thought he was in person, but maybe I got taller, who knows~ He went into the dressing room and played on his laptop while the girls warmed up a bit. haha ^_^ Jenny and I took some photos of this time. Here is one of the shots that are already up:
It was then time for them to head up to the Verizon tour bus to teach their fans the "Nobody dance" outside~
We followed them up (just the girls and Hana) and out the guarded door and were quickly surrounded by fans and admirers. They got to the side of the bus where they had an audio system set up for the event. Jenny and Cat (now is operating the video camera) got in the front of the crowd to take some clips/pics of the girls' interactions. I chose to stand in the back out of the heated area because I knew they'd have enough clips anyway and besides, I don't want to have to jump in there through the crowd as well. hahaha. Besides, we'll have more time with them later so I just let people have their chance to see the girls for themselves and not get in the way. haha ^_^
Afterwards we escorted the girls back through the doors and down into the backstage area. The fans were going crazy and tried to get single "myspace-styled" pics with each of the girls. We were then to begin the interview shortly in the girls' Dressing Room. Jenny had thought that it would be ME and HER who would be interviewing the girls, but nope, she had to do it by herself XDD Well I think she wanted it but never got a confirmation that I can too ^_^ Well no matter what I didn't wanna make a fool of myself in front of the camera hahaha so I was content. I helped take photos of the interview so was in the same room.
The girls had some really nice answers and they were awesome to say hi to and thank their fans at home =] They were also being really nice to Jenny, knowing it's her first time doing an interview and all. I wonder how SHE must've been feeling... I know I would've choked and fainted but ya. hahah ^_^
After the interview, we got to take some photos of them in the room and also some with them =] I was meaning to get some signatures but didn't have anything for them to sign on =[ They admired our tshirts though ^_^. Then I talked to YE-EUN and told her how I was surprised to find out that we have the same birthday =] The girls, by then, were all around me all looking like ^~^ (died inside and stuttered... UGH XD). YE-EUN responded with "REALLY?? wahhh~ that's very nice ^_^" and also to me, then, being 1 year exactly younger than her ^~^ (COUGH* i wish i was a year older >.< hahah but anywayy~~)
Well despite being a total fanboy inside, I managed to keep myself calm on the outside ^_^ I think I've just gotten too good at this whole inside/outside thing~ But the thing is, I don't want them to feel like "wow even these people are going crazy" and save them 1 less trouble hahah~
Our next thing on the schedule was to get some free time and let the girls go rehearse for their performance. So we said our goodbyes (we planned to come back later for the meet-and-greet that night to see them again) because we weren't going to be in the concert itself. We got hugs from all the girls and a very kind fairwell =] It had already been great fun and we got to know each other personally so it was very fulfilling ^_^.
On the way out, Jenny reminded me how JYP was just there an hour ago or so by now. Not that I had planned this since forever or would rather do this but it's not everyday when you get to meet the Producer HIMSELF. So by encouragement from a couple others, I had made a mixed CD with my top songs for JYP ^_^. I also had a sort of resume' paper but couldn't print it =[ so had to stick with the CD. But we couldn't find JYP at that time, so I thought that I may as well try to give the CD to the girls with my youtube account written on it =] We handed the CD to Hana and asked her to pass it on ^_^ I really hope she did but I trust her since she's basically really organized. haha~
So we (Cat, Jenny, me) headed out and decided to run around the crowds in line outside to find Wondergirls fans to get more footage for allkpop~ We found some here and there and asked each group to scream "HEY ALLKPOP WE LOVE THE WONDERGIRLS!!!" really loudly to the camera XD also stirring up attention from the other people in line ;] Shame to those who don't know the Wondergirls!!! booo!!! haha ^_^ oh well~ (But I'd have to say that was one of the first times I came into contact with that many Jonas Brothers fans. haha some of my friends are fans too but they are of course nowhere near these people's levels. hahah XD)
During this time when were were outside filming people for the Wondergirls coverage, SURPRISINGLY, some people recognized me o.O. There apparently were Dreamers around and it was more than one occasion when different people came up to get autographs (i know, right? autographs! @_@) from me and photos too o.O. I honestly had forgotten and all else but Wondergirls and didn't even think about being recognized at such a big Jonas Brothers concert (which is totally off the chart. haha). I was very flattered and ... actually I'm not sure how I felt T_T and Jenny was rubbing it in with the camera work and whatnot =_=. For people like us, it's not everyday when people ask you for autographs...loll, that is just new to me. Besides, I completely learned that it's extremely hard to sign on a piece of paper. hahaha I suck at autographs at the moment XD especially like that T_T. I'm pretty sure each of them was different from the others. haha~
So after things died down, the three of us wanted to go grab some food at this restaurant we walked to. We then took a cab back to our hotel (The cab was a super nice SUV and it was mighty expensive. hahaha we were so tricked XD) and took some time resting and all. Jenny's friend (also a FAN*TASTICs) was to contact her to let us know when the concert was over and that the meet-and-greet starts. After a long time with some naps, it was already nearing 11pm and we were wondering if it was over yet. Jenny's friend still hasn't replied/contacted her so we just decided to go to the concert ground, hoping to catch up with the girls again and hang out at the meet-and-greet for some more photos, etc...
When we got there, it was emptying out o.O and the people said that it was already over T_T. The three of us were majorly bummed but it was okay because in the end we got to meet them anyway and had some great time that many others didn't get the chance to have =] We had fun and that's what matters. I was happy to be lucky enough to meet them and even hang out ^~^ Afterwards, we just headed back to the hotel and stayed up watching some Korean movies and chill/eat XD
Overall, it was such a great experience working with allkpop and FAN*TASTICS. I got to meet great people (all of those whom I was with that day were new friends/acquaintances to me o.O). Meeting the girls was OUT of this world!~ I'll never forget this day ^_^ It was a great day in a long long time for me =]
Looking back at it, I have gained new and greater respect for all of the Wondergirls and JYP himself with all that he's doing for them and his other artists. I've always known that they have been close but this time I got to witness it with my own eyes. I'm extremely inspired and hopefully one day I'll see the girls not as another boy/photographer but someone who can inspire them back for all their work ^_^ It'd surely be great to work with JYP as well =] He's chilll~~ Hands down best producer I've seen in action yet! Nothing but respect!
Also, the girls will be having 3 days of performances this weekend in LA (near my U.S. "hometown") on the 7th, 8th, and 9th. Jenny and I are planning to fly down and meet them there to do more coverages for FAN*TASTICS and all. We are planning great fun things and I hope it all works out!! It would be so great if I see some of my friends back home =] Jenny mentioned how there'll probably be more Dreamers there XDD haha *sigh*~
But yes, hopefully this won't be a "once in a lifetime" experience because I'm definitely gonna do my best to get caught up with these 5 WONDERfulGIRLS~ They have given me so much inspiration because much like me, they want to perform at a new and foreign country. Even if we are going opposite ways, I'm sure we feel the same way ^^ One day, it's possible =] and I'll meet them again~
Also, I know that I was tweeting (twitter) like CRAZY that day. I'm sorry to anyone who got so many of those tweets and not to mention if they were on your phone T_T. I apologize if it bothered you during any inconvenient time =o. But you know, it was a pretty crazy experience XD besides I had to keep it bottled up and on the DL before the actual events took place.
UPDATE = if this weekend works out, there will be more surprises for you guys ^_^ Sorry can't tell yet once again ;p
I hope you had fun reading up on my experience that I really wanted to share with all of you =]]
Love, Alan
P.S. Overall from meeting the girls, YE-EUN was really impressive with her English, SUNMI was cute beyond words can describe, SOHEE was a bit timid and seemed a bit down at first but she was still cute ^^ and was more happy later on (I think I know her reasons though~ I notice these things.), YOOBIN was VERY charismatic and down-to-earth, and last but not least SUNYE was just as "HOT! HOT!" as you think she is, and THEN someee~ =o... All the girls were really friendly and open/down-to-earth ^^. ... did I mention SUNMI was extremely cute?? (anyone who talks to me in person KNOWS that I don't say this about just any one person I know in real life. So you should understand how this is XD)
UPDATE!: Here is the finished product of the interview if you guys are interested!~ STRAIGHT from allkpop ^_^
Hi, I'm Alan.
I'm a Soompi performer and a Youtuber ^_^
I'm also a hopeful for SM Entertainment along with a couple other Korean music agencies!
Please feel free to visit my pages to check out and support my music/singing.
